Do you suffer from insecurity and a lack of confidence? Afraid your wife is going to cheat on you with the mail man?
Introducing the all new, cast iron, triple welded, deluxe model ‘Wife Trap 2020’, perfect for protecting your highest valuable asset; your pride.
Put your irrational fear of your wife finding a man with a bigger penis to rest with the ‘Wife Trap 2020’s patented tamper-proof locking system.
The ‘Wife Trap 2020’ also comes with our signature versatility mechanism which allows her to clean the house and do the laundry but is still (amazingly) effective at preventing promiscuous sex with the UPS driver.
Business trip for a weekend? No problem, ‘Wife Trap 2020’ has you covered! Golf day with your colleagues? Aye, forget about it, you got the new and improved ‘Wife Trap 2020’.
Wait, there’s more! If you call now you can get a free upgrade to our ‘Pimp Plan’ and get 2 Wife Trap 2020’s for the price of one!
You’ll be the envy of the neighborhood with the ‘Wife Trap 2020’! Just listen to these testimonials:
“Hi, my name is John from Colorado. I was always worried that my wife was sneaking out while I was at work to have ridiculous amounts of sex. Now I can put that worry to bed. Thanks Wife Trap 2020!”
“I’m Bill from Tennessee. Since our kids started school I often wondered what my wife was doing home all day long. One time I found a hair in our bed… yeah, it was the same color and length of my hair, but I just couldn’t know for sure. Now that I have the Wife Trap 2020 it’ll be a cold day in hell before she screws around on me again.”
Order now and you’ll receive a complimentary copy of our number one best-selling cookbook: ‘How to freakin’ make dinner without burning it’.
Disclaimer: This is intended to be comedy, do not actually lock your wife in a cage you sick bastard. 😉