My Tiny Penis is Bigger Than Trump’s

A Comedy by Maggie Street Magazine

If you ever get a chance to look at my penis, you’ll feel sorry for me, right after you’re finished laughing your ass off. It’s okay, I’m used to it.

Girls body shame me and laugh at my tiny penis all the time. They high-five each other in the locker room after they make me cry. It used to make me sad, but I don’t blame them, I mean, it’s a really fuckin’ small penis.

I work in Washington D.C. as a bike messenger. I can ride all day long on a bike because my penis is so small. It doesn’t cause me any discomfort like a normal sized penis would, so that’s good.

Anyhow, I dropped a package off at some fortune 500 company downtown. I really had to take a piss, so I ducked into the nearest bathroom. Apparently I have a small bladder too, which makes sense because I have a little baby wiener.

Well, guess who was standing next to me at the urinals? That’s right, the one and only Donald J. Trump.

I snuck a little peek while we were taking the whiz. So what? I’m a pecker checker, get over it.

I couldn’t believe what my eyes could barely see. There was actually a person on this planet who had a smaller penis than me!

Poor bastard.

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