Ever since I can remember, I loved summertime. Perhaps it was because I was born in July? Maybe because back when we were kids it meant no school? Summer used to be a time for partying, fun, the beach, and all things glorious... then I got older and things have, regrettably, changed. The only thing … Continue reading I Don’t Like the Summertime Anymore
A Comedy by Maggie Street Magazine If you ever get a chance to look at my penis, you'll feel sorry for me, right after you're finished laughing your ass off. It's okay, I'm used to it. Girls body shame me and laugh at my tiny penis all the time. They high-five each other in the … Continue reading My Tiny Penis is Bigger Than Trump’s
A Dark Comedy Satire by Maggie Street Magazine Buyer's remorse comes in all different forms. One such purchase that I am really beginning to regret, is that of my 9-year-old wife. Divorce is highly frowned upon in my new country, which became apparent when I asked for a refund and was chased out of the … Continue reading My 9-Year-Old Wife is Driving Me Crazy
Recently I took my mother and my girlfriend to see 'Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.' I was prepared for a relaxed evening of eating nachos and popcorn at the theater. Spoiler Alert I wasn't prepared, however, for what I would consider one of the saddest scenes that I've ever witnessed in a movie. The scene where, … Continue reading Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom Brachiosaurus Death Scene
A comedy satire by Maggie Street Magazine How does one effectively and thoroughly piss off everyone? Not so long ago you could just say something myopic like "I hate black people" and everyone would want to kill you. These days, however, you'd probably have a gathering of inbred hicks who (for reasons beyond my comprehension) … Continue reading How to Piss Off Everyone
Are you really for free speech? To say you are for the freedom of speech is no small claim. Sure, there probably aren't many people out there who think that they should be censored, but the principle of free speech goes far beyond having the freedom to say what you want to say. It's been … Continue reading Are You Really For Free Speech?
Dear Mr. Rubin, I am writing this letter to you in regards to your recent appearance at the University of New Hampshire. Firstly, I would like to commend you for your overall egalitarian, reasonable approach to political discourse and discussion, specifically when visiting college campuses. I would like to offer some criticism, however, on the … Continue reading Open Letter to Dave Rubin